As many of you know, I asked God to lead my life 10 years ago in London, England. Since I left I've always been drawn to return but have felt God saying not now. As a new Christian, I thought that I could never be a missionary in the traditional sense. A few years after I moved home from London a missionary organization gave a speech at our church and talked about how you could do a support role on the mission field. That really stuck with me and I thought, "I could totally do that!" (which is funny, because that’s totally what I feel like I’m doing now at The Pursuit). So then my dad got really sick and I knew that the "not yet" was because of my dad's illness. After he passed away I asked God if that meant I was free to go but He, again, said not yet -you’re in debt. That was when I drew the line in the sand about getting and staying out of debt. When I first started at The Pursuit I remember having a convo with Paul (the Lead Pastor) and we were talking about his vision for planting campuses and I said "build one in London! I will go and help!" He said that London was actually in their top five. A little while later I asked God if I could go now and He said "not yet" and that for now I'm a missionary in Boise. During this time He was telling me other things too. Like, down size your possessions. Relearn French. Don't settle in (or down) - I felt He was saying that I would be unsettled for quite some time. He was also telling me that this was a time of preparation and that I needed to learn all that I could. I definitely didn't understand the instructions but I have been trying to be faithful to those instructions for the last year or so. During the last three months Gary (my supervisor) keeps asking me if I could do anything at The Pursuit what would it be? My answers were not prayerful, just my own opinion/desire, and at first I said helping The Pursuit organize and plant churches. A few weeks later I followed up with him and said "you know, I pretty much just want to help with the church plant in England. I would love to help do that." Over the last couple of months I have just been drawn more and more to all things English. It seems every movie I watch, every book I read, and more keeps pointing back to England. So much so that I felt like I should take a trip to England next year, that I should scrimp and save all that I can to make that happen. During this time I've also just been drawn to OM (Operation Mobilization). Since hearing George Verwer speak at The Pursuit a few years ago I've been interested in them and following the organization. The week of September 20th we did staff prayers all together at staff meeting. I remember asking the staff for prayer because I felt God was telling me that I was getting too comfortable and that He was about to shake that up. I was thinking He meant the roommate situation, or something. On September 24th I flew to Spokane to attend my friend Theresa's wedding. She married an Australian (they live in Australia but had the wedding in the states). During the whole weekend I was just captivated about the idea of going to England and OM and it was just constantly on my mind. When I flew back to Boise I decided I had better ask God again about this London thing because it was just overwhelming how much it was on my mind. 110% expecting to hear another "not yet" I shared my heart with God saying I know He knows that my mind has been on going to England and asked Him if it was yet time to go. Totally surprising to me I felt God say "yes, you can start preparing to go." What??? After 10 years of hoping for this I was shocked and pretty much just bawled the whole morning.
What's really funny, is after my chat with God the first thing I thought of was my friend Janat. How she put our accountability team together so many months ago, and how its funny that we've now all been called out of Boise one by one.
I’m still seeking God to continue to confirm this is His will. I’m totally open to the door closing if it is the process He wants me to go through but not the destination. Wise counsel has already directed me to read some books and continue to seek God’s affirmation through scripture. Ya, so that’s where I’m at right now. =O)
